Some Great FanFest One-Liners!


Saturday’s FanFest event at the Baltimore Convention Center produced a number of great one-liner comments. After a while, I began to write them down. So here is a list of remarks that caught my ear and even had me laughing out loud a few times!

Buck Showalter – on the subject of Prince Fielder – “What a great name! I’ve never had a player on a team named ‘Prince’ or ‘King,’ but I’ve had a few princesses!”

Buck Showalter – relative to Andino’s big hit in the final game to eliminate Boston – “I saw a shirt the other day that is one I want to get. It said, ‘The Curse of the Andino!’”

Nick Markakis – relative to what he thinks of the off-season acquisitions – “We sure are stockpiling a lot of pitchers!” (said with a raise of the eyebrows)

Adam Jones – relative to a recent trip to Europe with some other players – “There were these four girls in the Czech Republic that were following us around, and I found out later that it was because I was a big black guy. Guess they don’t see many … it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.”

Zach Britton – regarding what he did in the off-season – “I got married to start off the off-season, so I’ve been dealing with that.”

Tommy Hunter – when hearing about the Brady Anderson workout program – “I Googled Brady Anderson, and thought, ‘I want to be that guy in the underwear ads.’” …. Later, when speaking of Jim Palmer, “He was another underwear guy; maybe I can be the 3rd!”

Brian Matusz – commenting on Britton’s homer last season – “It barely got out” … and Britton responding, “Hey, I crushed that ball!”

Tommy Hunter – when asked what he thought of the Rangers system of not counting pitches – “Ah … I didn’t make it that far!”

Zach Britton – in response to the more lenient Orioles policy about beards – “I don’t think half of us can even grow facial hair anyhow.”

Dana Eveland – regarding his reaction to being sent to a new team – “I’ve been on 7 teams in the last 8 years, maybe somebody will keep me sometime.”

Jake Arrieta – when asked if he knew how many career wins Jim Palmer had – “I should know; he talks about it all the time!”  (268 / 2.86 era)

Nick Markakis – regarding how he felt about playing first base – “The first time I played it, Ichero was up, and he looks a lot bigger from there.”

Nick Markakis – regarding whether he would rather be on Sports Center for a game winning hit or game saving catch – “Neither, I’d like to be seen making a game saving throw.”

Adam Jones – on excitedly punching Andino after game-winning hits – “You can’t do that long – He gets mad and starts swinging back.”

Dana Eveland – on learning how to pitch last year at AAA Albuquerque – “Pitching there is like pitching on the moon … there is no gravity and the balls just fly out!”

Tommy Hunter – regarding other stadiums he likes playing in – “New York is great! They have the nicest kitchen and so much food – trays and trays – all different and so good!”  (Later, after numerous other food remarks, Buck shows up on stage to feel Hunter’s ribs.)

Rick Adair – relative to the challenges of coaching across language barriers – “Gonna get Rosetta Stone!”

Roch Kubatko – regarding interviewing players – “Matusz breaks down every pitch to the point where I have to fake my own death, cause I gotta get going.”

Roch Kubatko (media) – regarding which players are good interviews – “I miss Albert Belle. I always wondered if he was going to give me a quote or kill me. It was a rush!”

Matt Wieters – regarding who he hates batting against the most – “Rivera – because he’s like 58 years old and only has one pitch, and it still breaks bats.”

Darren O’Day – on preferring to be called a submariner or a side-armer – “I don’t know; I just say that, yes, I throw like a girl.”

Darren O’Day – to a child who asked how someone can become an Orioles pitcher – “Get traded here from Texas.”

Darren O’Day – about joining the Orioles – “When I saw Matt Reynolds last night I gave him a big hug, because he hit two homers off me and got me sent down … so he’s my new favorite teammate.”

Jason Berken – when asked if they ever have contact with the Ravens players – “Yes, it is good to meet those guys and realize we chose the right sport; they are huge scary monsters!”